345: Clutching the Peanut

20130113_171018[1]In Asia monkeys are caught by placing a peanut in pot with a narrow neck. The monkey puts it hand into the narrow opening and then grasps the peanut. With determination not to let go of its prize the monkey is caught. How stupid you might think, grasping onto that nut when it could find freedom by simply letting go. Stupid monkey. However, we can forget to think ‘how ridiculous’ we are when we are the ones grasping the peanut or in my case a whole bag of them.

I was reminded of this when I caught the name of another teacher going on a course that I was about to attend. I was really looking forward to this stress free bliss of a course and then the old peanut came back. He was the man who said I shouldn’t be teaching, he was the man who said that I wasn’t listening, he was the man that I rallied my friends to get agreement. He made me cry. He made me lose faith in my ability to be a teacher. He has no idea of any of this.

Sometimes we don’t even know what we are holding on to until it is bought back to our attention. We remember the hurts, the words, the actions and we are then catapulted back to that time. We rehash the scene over and over in our mind justifying our nuts. We rehearse what we should have said to really teach them a thing or two. Rehash and rehearse, seek agreement and justification.

Practice for today:Awareness is the process of yoga. What is your peanut or two? Is there some way that you can unclench the strings around your fist and find yourself a bit of peace and freedom?

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