One of my biggest fears is that my thoughts would somehow be broadcasted on national radio for everyone to hear. My stream of consciousness would be like a drunken monkey swinging from tree to tree in search of nothing. Or imagine as punishment for your crimes you were subjected to your own thoughts without one gap and you had to listen to yourself day and night. Torturous. These were the thoughts I had between 3am and 5am. Could everyone just quieten down so I can go back to sleep. No such luck. Between worrying about a type of yoga mat my neighbour should buy to have I done everything before we leave for Sydney, I realised that my thoughts fall into three categories; past events, future happenings or futile expressions of my wee self, the ego…. (what should I wear, where shall I go, what shall I say).
Then I remembered the practice of Maha Mudra. Maha Mudra is a type of meditation where you actually focus on your thoughts as the object of meditation. When a thought arises instead of trying to push it to one side or entertain it and its friends, you say to yourself, oh there is a thought about a yoga mat, I am thinking about dinner, my thought was about what someone said to me. As you do this what happens is you take away the power of the thought itself in other words you don’t fuel the fire. As one great teacher said ‘ a tiny spark can start a huge fire’. Not fueling the fire is a way to bring you back to a place of quiet. Slowly as you concentrate or acknowledge your arising thoughts you will find small gaps arising. The clouds will part and there will be expansive sky. And you know what? I was going to get up and give in but I stuck with it and fell back into a lovely sleep.
Practice for today: If you feel a thought come to you that isn’t the most positive or you would like to move away from say to yourself, ‘oh I am having a thought about x’ and move on with your day.