260: The True Secret of Being Happy

There is so much written about being happy. There are lots of techniques you can try. It’s a little overwhelming so I have come up with a simple formula for you to use everyday to cover all your bases.

Here in New Zealand the clocks have been turned back so I am now waking at the same time but the clock says 5am. This gives me lots of time to think about stuff and surf the net. Today I read about how to make zines. They are basically little magazines you can make at home from one piece of paper. Perfect, I thought, my son will LOVE these. I then spend the next hour crafting one and trying to work out how to fold it. I was pretty excited and couldn’t wait to show off the next best thing to him.

zineWhen he got up I pounced. ‘Look at these, they are the latest craze, you can make your own zine’

‘It’s a bit small was his first reaction.’ ( slight stabbing feeling in chest)

‘Well yes, they are small but you can make them yourself and it only takes one bit of paper, look I’ll show you how’

‘I don’t think so mum, I was thinking of making something like this, (holding up glossy magazine)’ ( chest constriction, possibly tears coming)

‘But you haven’t tried yet, how do you know if you don’t try?’

‘Yip maybe….’ ( heart ripped out, thrown on floor and jumped on)

Disappointment in a nutshell delivered. All before 7am. Great. My unhappiness radar exploded, the dial turned up so high it was dangerous.

So here is my simple formula.

If you want to be happy don’t expect too much from anyone. Take it down a notch. Be more like seaweed floating in the ocean, swaying on other people’s likes and dislikes.

If we don’t expect too much from someone we won’t nag them, be let down by them, be hurt by them, feel rejected by them. If we don’t feel hurt, rejection, sadness or disappointment in our life then we are basically happy right?

And while you are at it you can take it down a notch for yourself as well. All these things apply to your relationship to you. So don’t be too hard on yourself. Cut yourself some slack.

Practice for today: If someone lets you down, misses an appointment, doesn’t follow through with their word, forgets you or your anniversary/birthday think ‘be like seaweed in the ocean’. Take it all, let it sway you but remain pliant and flexible.

 

 

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