You know the feeling of being really busted? It happened to me in yoga while I was doing a pose in my body and a conversation in my head. I was really going for it, nattering to myself. The teacher cruises by ‘who are you talking to?’ Caught. The distraction spotted. I’m not sure who I was talking to but I do know that I carry out these one way conversations pretty much all of the day.
I spend most of the day on my own with no one to talk to so I have taken to listening to the great yoga orators speaking about yoga, life, philosophy. I want to take them to an island and drill them some more, but what I really miss is a ‘real conversation’. It seems that most of my life has become short platonic utterances, to my partner, ‘it’s recycling tomorrow’ to my daughter ‘your lunch is there’ to my son,’ that’s a great picture’ to the dog’ good, girl and sit’. I’m not even sure if I can string more than five words together. I long for one of those conversations just like a letter, long, fulfilling, and stimulating.
A good conversation has some key elements to it. It doesn’t include gossip ( unless it is a necessary fact), It doesn’t assume or judge about others, it doesn’t put others down, it doesn’t poke fun at those less fortunate. It doesn’t have a whinging element or complaint about the weather/ service/ economy, and it always has a little humor directed mainly towards the one delivering the words. It is not a monologue directed at the witness. A good conversation is about interests, goals, discoveries, dreams, philosophy, plans, developments and shares ideas. It sometimes exposes your vulnerable side. A good conversation always includes a big dose of listening.
How often do you really sit down and talk with someone? How often do you look someone in the eye and tell them how you feel or ask them for what they need? When do you take the time out to talk about what is important with your loved ones or share ideas with your colleagues? What is it that you have left unspoken that needs to be said?
Practice for today: A conversation is a joy, have a real one this weekend or today. Not by phone or text or email, but face to face. What is it that lights you up? Find someone to share that with and see what lights them up also. Share the oral love.