219: Taking the Hurt

My partner always says to me ‘don’t be so sensitive’. I think what he is trying to say to me is don’t be so hurt when I say things to you that you don’t like

It seems that there are people who can go through life fairly unscathed. Comments fly off them, they dodge people’s hurtful actions like bullets and they seem immune to anguish. Guess I didn’t draw that straw. But what does it mean to be sensitive? Why are some of us more sensitive than others? Why do some of us appear to get  ‘hurt’ easily? Who are the people who appear to have the power to hurt us?

ghandiIt seems to me that the people who have the ability to hurt us the most are those we are in close relationship to. They will say or do something that provokes some emotion in us. We have so many expectations of those around us. Maybe we expect them to provide for us in some way we can’t provide for ourselves. Maybe they bring out certain aspects of ourselves that we don’t want to witness.  Here is an example. Maybe you have spent time creating something let’s say a cake. In your mind you are really proud of the cake and you don’t often bake anyway. While you were baking the cake you were thinking things like, they will really like this or I’m so proud of it. Then you give your partner some to try and they say; ‘ yeah quite nice but it’s a bit sweet’. Some how this is not the reaction you were after so you feel hurt.

So what you expected and what you received was different. So how do we mitigate our way though this situation? The first thing to remember is that the person doing the hurting is not often aware how they are hurting you especially on the subtle level.The second thing to consider is what aspect of this situation has not met a need in me. A need to be cherished, acknowledged, praised or loved? Once we can identify the source of our hurt we can work at the next stage which is to surrender to it. What has happened has just been an energetic ‘no’ to what we were seeking. We didn’t get what we wanted so we feel this pain. Once we surrender to it/accept it as it is then it will begin to lose power over us and you may feel the effect of its dissolve.

Practice for today: Not everyone sees the world like we do. Some of us have a deep well, others are just operating above the surface. Every hurt can open us to a deeper understanding of ourselves. Treat each one as a teacher. Dig deep into yourself to find the resource to help you resolve these feelings so you will be more open to love when it comes soon after.

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