173: Wanting it all to be Perfect

tumblr_mpbs6hSkjE1r9qhhio1_1280We are on a fab mini  break to try to alleviate some stress from everyday living, to experience experiences, to jump out of the rut. I’m the master trip planner and I want everything to go smoothly, I’ve over planned, over organised and overly conscious that everyone must have a great time……for the whole time.

So twenty minutes into it sandwiched in a small car with a teenager, a child, and octogenarian ( deaf), driver and me I wondered, what I was thinking? It doesn’t matter how carefully you plan something if you jam enough people into a small space, something is going to come up. The food’s not right, it’s too hot, too cold, someone is shouting, someone can’t hear, no we are not there yet, I’ve forgotten the itinerary, it’s expensive, this room is too small, I’m lost, no still not there, this is not what I expected, no I don’t know where we are going, ……anymore.

Wanting something to be perfect despite the fact it never is, is a sneaky disguise for in-authenticity. We work really hard at trying to get everything done, just right, on time so we can maintain a facade of perfection and hide our vulnerability of being wrong, late, unprepared, inexperienced and a whole lot of other dirty words we don’t want to admit to. We want to be fit for human consumption all day everyday.

We all have our quirky perfection rituals. Some of us it’s the way we look, others the house work, some planning, some their work. Some make long lists in case they forget something ( heaven forbid!). This could possibly all be OK if we didn’t then change gears when it doesn’t go as we plan. If perfection is our game then the stakes are high. So we have to work really hard to make sure we don’t miss a beat. If we do we deem ourselves as having failed we can then march out the personal beatings. I could have done that better, planned more, worked harder.

Practice for today: Where do you seek perfection in yourself or those around you? How would it be for a day to sit with being vulnerable, watching the imperfections of life roll in one after the other and rolling with them? Owning up to your imperfections is a beautiful, authentic and courageous way to live your life.

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