It has been proven time and time again in many different studies that relationships are the thing that keep most of us happy. It’s ok if this relationship is with your dog or your spouse but being in a relationship is important for reaching the highest of the highs as we move through this crazy old world.
Yoga comes from the word ‘Yug’ which means in union with. Originally a yug was the part of the carriage that was tethered to the horse, the bit that held it together. In yoga there is reference to union over and over again. Sun and moon, Yin and Yang, breath and mind, shadow and light. For yoga to be most effective it has to be an equal coming together of the opposites.
So what is in a relationship that makes it so good? Actually nothing. And this is where a lot of us fail in relation to others. Sometimes when we enter a relationship we expect it will bring us the things that will make us happy, to somehow meet all our needs. We can sink into what Buddha described as the ‘wanting mind’, we want all these things to make our relationship good. However we seldom get them so we then feel dissatisfied with what we have.If we are really to be in harmony with those around us we can’t expect any of these things from the relationship unless we bring them ourselves. The relationship box is empty and must be filled with these skills of learning to love, communicate, soothe and approve of ourselves. You can’t have a true union unless these basic needs are met within yourself first. It’s similar to when we are in a yoga class, the teacher can’t breathe for us any more than they can move our limbs or meditate for us. They are there for us as a companion and we can feel a lovely union with them but the work must come from us.
And this is why we must practice every day, so we can keep filling the gaps in our unions, so we can learn that we only get out what we put in and see that if we keep withdrawing from the bank account of our relationships the union will run dry.
Practice for today; What is it you bring to your relationships? In which areas do your repeatably get snagged? How can you take your expectations of the other person to a level where the union becomes one and equal like Yin and Yang. Where can you put a little more in today than you take out?