The first time I was really yelled at by a student was during a minor adjustment of her back foot in warrior 1 pose. She yelled at me ‘Don’t do that, it hurts’. I recoiled so badly from the ‘insult’ that I nearly couldn’t carry on. I spent many hours after that fabricating my story. What’s wrong with her, so rude, I was just trying to help, it wasn’t that bad, she must have some problems, I don’t like her, etc etc. This was my natural response to being rejected by another human being when I was trying to help. This I took personally.
People say and do all sorts of weird things that we can take to heart, be upset about or take personally. Some of their words can really damage and sever ties, some can just knock us off our perches for a while. Some things reinforce old wounds, these are the things that we really take personally. For eg if someone said something like ‘your writing is not very good’ I would really go to town. This is because someone once said this to me and I believed them and didn’t write for years. One day I discovered that I wasn’t that bad at it and I discovered my voice. However if someone said it to me now it would take me back to my original belief in myself quite quickly.
The way we react to people’s words is a reflection on how we are feeling. If we are feeling up and happy their words bounce off us. If we are tired or down we take things to heart. So our moods can affect our reactions.
People can use their words to heal or to hurt, like a weapon. The people closest to us have the most effect. However it is quite likely that what they are saying is just a reflection of how they feel and where they find themselves at that moment and really have nothing to do with you at all. You are just the dart board. You are there to catch their shadow side.
Practice for today: Use your words wisely, to help and heal others. If you do catch a dart from someone close to you remind yourself the words are just a reflection of a situation they are in now, and only have the power to hurt you if you allow it.