Most of us long for a best friend or have one already. That deep unspoken type of relationship that we love to nurture and hold onto for dear life. The other half of the broken heart necklace or the his and hers tattoo. They help us when we need help, they listen to us without judgement and they accept us as we truly are.Having time with a best friend is having a time of love. We hope that love will last. These relationships are crucial to our understanding of the world and of ourselves. They help form our ideas and we often become like each other, slowly morphing into one person.
We really only have a few best friends in our life at a time. Some of them stay longer than others.These comings and goings are part of our own karmic stage show. Every one of the actors are passing through for a reason. The one friendship that should never leave us though, is the friendship we have with ourselves
Yoga is the practice of relationships. Relationship to our breath, our body, our people and ourselves. The deepest and hardest relationship is that with ourselves. Within ourselves we should hold our own best friend. When we look at the qualities we desire in a best friend it is usually along the lines of ‘like minded, wise counsel, trustworthy and loves you unconditionally’. Within us this is the friend that seems to desert us the most. They desert us when we make a mistake, they desert us when we feel inadequate, they run for the hills when we compare ourselves to others. This best friend is a gossip of the worst kind. This best friend is our own worst enemy. It shows up in negative self talk, unwise ideas, spiteful comebacks and specialises in lies. This best friend lives in our head and manifests as dialogue. This best friend wants what is best for it and doesn’t care a rats about you.
The next time you feel doubt, are lonely, have made a mistake or need someone to talk to, start with yourself. Witness the dialogue in your head as it appears and ask yourself ‘Is this how my best friend would talk to me?’ It’s OK to talk to yourself lovingly. It’s OK to soothe and reassure yourself. It’s OK to talk to yourself like a mother to a child. It’s not ok to desert yourself when you need it.
Practice for today: We have many types of friends in our lives but the one that we should have for life is ourselves. Remembering to treat yourself like you would a dear friend is great stepping stone to learning to love yourself more. It is also the key to contributing more deeply and carefully to those around us that we cherish.