The curious thing I have noticed about myself is that when I am happy, all joy and light to the world, everyone else seems that way as well. When I am anxious or irritable the people I meet also seem that way. So following the most rudimentary logic, I see the world how I see myself. Taking this one step further if I want things to be different with my world, I am going to have to change.
And this is where most of us fall down. We look at other people and hope they will change to suit us. We look at our partners, children, parents and wonder how they can be so stubborn, arrogant, grumpy, selfish, or annoying. What is wrong with them we say to either them or ourselves. Why can’t you be more, present, consistent, grateful, polite? We pray, implore, plead and then give up. We don’t often stop for one moment to think, ‘what is my role in this?’ ‘What is it about my behaviour that brings about the behaviour in others?’
Take one relationship you have difficulty with. You don’t need to choose a big failure, just a small thing you are knocking your head against the wall about. What is it about this relationship they is constantly bugging you? What is one aspect of their behaviour you would like to change? Now turn it around. What is one aspect of your behaviour you can change to bring about a shift in your perception? What can you do to be the vehicle of change?
Gandhi says it so nicely, we must be the change we wish to see in the world. What he meant is that to be a champion of change stop asking others to change, do it yourself. What often irritates you about others is some aspect of yourself that you don’t like. When you realise that you can be the change, things get a lot easier.
Practice for today: Practice being the first today. The first to see the problem and the first to try to solve it.