It’s not unusual for students to cry or even laugh hysterically in class. I have even been known to do my fair share of blubbing, but then I blame that on the lack of sleep and too many beans that are the back bone of yoga retreats. What generally happens is, during a class there will be a cue from the instructor along the lines of letting go or feeling what you feel and this bursts the shield that has been building up around the student for how ever many years. This emotional or physiological burst be something that has been repressed within us for years or simply an awakening to what our ‘truth’ is at that moment.
Our truth is our reality of any given situation. It is how you feel. However we have become experts at ignoring how we feel for many reasons. Maybe we are stressed and instead of feeling that we blame ourselves for not being organised in our work. Maybe we feel anger and instead of feeling that we wonder what is wrong with us. Maybe we are hurt and instead of sitting with that we shovel it under the layers of brave faces we like to masquerade pretending there is nothing wrong.
Once when I was on retreat and was invited by the teacher to ‘watch what comes up’ I had a similar pop of tension. I felt sad, I felt the emotion sadness arise in my body, then I felt around the edges of sadness seeing and feeling all the sensations as they arise. It was not at all comfortable. I wanted to run and hide under the bed clothes. When you watch what arises you sit with it like a patient friend, not judging just seeing and feeling. It feels safer to push these feelings down deep. It feels safer to manipulate reality so you can’t feel. It feels safer to try to change your external channel so you don’t view your internal one. But this is where the issues begin.
Soon you will be sick either emotionally or physically simply because you try to block out your truth. Your truth is your reality. Your reality is what is happening to you now. Your version of the world is signalling to you to stop, be aware, sit with yourself, acknowledge and acknowledge what you feel.
We yoga people say ‘the issues are in the tissues’. This could be the hip joints or the boxes of kleenex that you never cried in to.
Practice for today: Start slowly.. just check in with yourself now and then. How are you? What do you feel. What is arising for you? What is your reality and truth in this moment? What can you do to acknowledge that? What can you do to welcome that into your awareness?