There are grammatical structures in English called the First and Second Conditional. The form is; If + the condition= the result. It relies on an imagined, possible or impossible condition to be met first before the result can occur.
If everyone shuts up, I’ll be able to meditate properly.
Once the kids leave home, I’ll take up yoga.
If it rains tomorrow, I’ll do study/exercise/ start the de-tox
I’ll be happy once you do the dishes
I’ll marry you once you stop drinking
If I were younger, I’d be able to do forearm handstand
I would do yoga if I was more flexible
If you loved me you would do that
If you cared about me you would do that
I wouldn’t have put on so much weight if I wasn’t such a pig
When we utter or think in conditional either to ourselves or others we are asking for things to be perfect before we will move on, participate, start something or take action. We want everything to be just so. When we live our life in conditionals we stall and procrastinate or we make excuses for why we will or won’t do something.
The problem with this is that the condition rarely happens and if it does we move the bar up another notch, always keeping slightly behind our imagined scenario of the perfect life.
This week I have the conditional problem. I want do a course but my conversation goes like this. I’ll do it when I know more, study more, are more competent, better experienced or qualified. Which = Never!
Practice for today. Do you have any conditions riding on your success or growth or do you impose conditions on others? Why not delete the condition and make the first move towards the result instead? As Marianne Williamson so nicely puts it, it is not our darkness we fear, it is our light.