I could feel the insidious warmth of the complaints leave my mind and set sail from my mouth. The flies in the house, the family that leaves everything lying around, the house that looks like a bomb site, the bottom that looks almost primate. My minds eye would slip to a picture of perfection, clean houses, obedient families, pert and fly less bottoms. The chasm between what I had and what I wanted or how I imagined my life should be had grown out of control and was stuffed with petty dissatisfaction.
Wanting a perfect life is a dangerous game. This clinging to ideals, images, thoughts or actions of how we should be is often the root cause of our suffering. It only takes a quick flick through a magazine to realise that you don’t have that house, body, skin, husband and you probably never will, therefore you are deficient, lacking and somehow flawed.
Often we are brought up to believe we need to be a certain way, be funnier, kinder, don’t be so loud or shy, try to be better. Our society is set up as culture that says ‘what you are is not quite enough’ you need to be better. When we realise that we are never going to reach that hypothetical bar of how we should be we start to develop coping mechanisms for our anxiety, insecurity or feeling of lack. We hide our imperfection or our not quite good enough-ness in overworking, over drinking, running from the problem or sinking into depression. We push away, reject, ignore or smother the parts of us we don’t like.
Yoga is a beautiful way to step outside of this way of being. It says, you are perfect as you are, you don’t need to change a thing about yourself, you just need to learn to accept who and what you are, bumps, flaws and cracks. When you learn to do this you stop pushing a boulder uphill in a continual struggle to be something better, but rather you just push the boulder to one side and watch the bugs run out.
Practice for this week: Embrace all of life, be in love with your life. See the dishes and the annoyances and struggles as being part of this one sweet journey, accept them all without judging yourself and who you are. Keep an eye out for when you begin to sink into dissatisfaction with who you are or what your life is like. Yoga says you are buddha within.